My Breaking Point; Motherhood

“I had no idea it would be this much. I had no idea I could handle it. I had no idea how beautiful it all actually is.” – Tyler Knott Gregson

Along the way there have undeniably been multiple “breaking points”. Kids are tough! Child rearing is tough, life is stressful, but I can say I have successfully avoided being admitted to the loony bin, although there were times I thought I was living in one.  I think it is time to take you down memory lane.

My life in 1991 was all consumed by a needy toddler, and an ever growing baby in my belly. My second son was soon born, and everything was so different the second go around. The first son, was connected to me, literally. Needed to be carried constantly, I realized it was my fault. He pulled at my heart every time he cried. Yet the sound that echoes on in my heart is the sound of the laughter. Thereafter his laughter ceased, his baby brother arrived, the honest truth is he never has been good at sharing. It takes a village to raise a child, and distance separated me from my village.  Many of the issues that were so traumatic due to being new at motherhood was actually not new to so many, but my village was far and there was no internet at that time. We quite literally now live in a world wide village of advice givers thanks to technology. My second son was the happiest content baby I’d ever met. That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a ongoing challenge every day.

I believe the year was 1998, its all a little fuzzy, from loss of brain cells due to lack of sleep. If the two monsters weren’t enough, I mean, kept my hands full, then came the third, she was the princess. She was completely opposite of the rug rats. While there are so many beautiful memories, the story that comes to mind is one from when she was two years old. Two words, projectile vomit. What was a seemingly normal day was suddenly interrupted by an unexpected visitor, my two year old had a virus. Which made its debut on my face, my bed, and in my nightmares for a while longer.

I use to utter the words, “I should have written a book”, when all the memories were fresh and plentiful. Life never slowed down. Before I could catch my breath we had teenagers. I’ll be the first to say I should have sent my teenagers away to reformatory, until they came back nicer humans, ready to be introduced into society. The truth of the matter is that is what parents are for. We are there to support our children, believe in them, but most importantly prepare them for the world with love and patience. It is our duty to prepare them for the world, because if we don’t, the world will beat and bruise them beyond what is necessary.

What was my breaking point with each child? They were all similar, but started with my oldest, he believed he was an only child, I deep down believe he still does. There were so many adventures and mountains to conquer. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t a heart attack with us everywhere we went. I love my children, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, except maybe some peace and quite. While this blog post was riddled with what was meant to cause a giggle or two, motherhood is beautiful. If you are living a similar tale to the one I told you of, you may find comfort that you’ll soon get some sleep. “Soon” is relative to perspective, “Soon” may be in five more years. Motherhood will bring you to a breaking point more times than you can count, but it is worth it every step of the way.

I hope you know you are not alone.

P.S You’ll be alright

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